One full year has gone by since the passing of my wife and companion of 27 years. Much has changed in that year, but much is the same. I find that I miss what we had together, especially during our years in the Denver area. I miss our home, our friends our holidays together and having someone to hang out with on bad weather days. I remember the fun we had just walking around Park Meadows on rainy days, looking at stuff and going to the food court. I miss walking our dogs in the parks near our home in Parker and hiking in Castlewood Canyon State Park. But after a full year, I also find that I can go days at a time without looking back, only forward at what might be yet to come.
One thing I find interesting and maybe even good news that might be helpful to others navigating the grieving process, I can now visit places that remind me of our life together without feeling the sting of loss. At first I just wanted to escape, to go someplace where every restaurant, every park and every shopping mall didn’t remind me of our life together. But after one year, these places have become mine, not ours. One year of new experiences, new friends and new memories have made their way to the forefront of my mind and I feel at home in the town where fate landed me. The people in my life too have changed… no longer do they greet me with sadness when they see me as the broken half of a pair, but as my own separate and distinct identity.
Out of necessity, I have completed the massive and ruthless downsizing that took me from suburban husband with a good sized house, yard and garage to single and nimble photographer ready to roll on the next big project at a moments notice. The mountains are starting to respond to the advance of spring and the signs of renewed life are all around. With the change of four seasons now behind me I am ready to move on, to create a new life for myself and experience new things and to contemplate new possibilities. But I know also that I will never forget her and the good times we had together, I wouldn’t want to.
Steve, your eloquent wording, and grieving process, have made you who you always were, strong and ready to move-on, ,I also know of what you are experiencing, what you have been through, Congratulations, on being able to do things that once were yours and hers, Yes, Life continues, and change is for the better, and you know, it will always be there, nothing can erase what you had, and love cannot never be lost, just wonderful memories, I am so happy you have been able to make these difficult steps, now leaps that have made you the man you are now. Keep seeing that Mountain go to Spring/ Summer, what a beautiful site, i will never see, You are a lucky Man with a Huge heart, Way to go Steve.Very good post here.
DOUG
Thanks Doug! I always value your insightful comments… Looking forward to see your wonderful colorful new work from this spring as well!