Therapeutic

Today is a cold dreary rainy snowy day and sitting at home was just too depressing so I thought the coffee shop in downtown Woodland Park would be nice. There is a table there that I consider mine, the one right by the south window where I can sit and look at Pikes Peak. Today my table was available and as I sat there looking out at the snow I was reminded of the very first time I went there. We were still moving to the mountains and there was one day when the weather was bad and we decided to just take a break from moving and stop in there for breakfast.

I also remembered a time when I had stopped in there when Tricia had gone to Kansas to visit her family and we were kind of thinking it was going to be to say goodbye. I didn’t actually expect her to come back. I remember sitting there talking to God and trying to come up with some sort of plan for my life without her. As I sat there today I realized I couldn’t remember what year that was, or what came before it or after it. My memory of the course of events has already begun to fade and it was bugging me because I’m not ready to let it go yet.

So I resolved to come home and write down the chronology of our years together so that I would not lose it. As I wrote, I remembered the fuzzy time period around then as well as many other important times from our 26 years together. Turns out that I had forgotten that we had signed a second year lease on our first place in Woodland Park that I forgot about and it made me feel like I was missing a year. I was also starting to forget some names of people that have played an important part in our lives over the years. Now it is all on paper, so to speak, and I find that I have suddenly been able to quit thinking about it. It’s like it can be sealed and put away. I know it won’t be forgotten because if I want to I can get it out and look at it to refresh my mind. But for now it is behind me and that is a good thing.

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