Surreal Day

Stopped by the Garden on my way back from giving a friend a ride to the cancer Pavilion at Penrose to see if I could find the bighorn sheep. No luck there, but the view of Pikes Peak was kind of pretty. Well worth stopping at the visitor’s center for a few shots anyway.

Garden of the Gods Spring with snow capped Pikes PeakBeen about two years since Tricia passed, I guess the trip alone back from the cancer center reminded me of how much nothing has changed in those two years. Kind of feels like I am in that old “Groundhog Day” movie, the one  with Bill Murray. Only I am in the same routine with different people, waiting at the doctor’s office for cell count reports… snapping pictures on the commutes back and forth when I can, grabbing free coffee every chance I get.  I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing… I was going to hit the road the instant Tricia passed and start a new life somewhere else, but as I was cleaning up the remnants of the old life with her I became more and more entangled in a new life here. Almost exactly like the old life but with new people. This old beast of a camper trailer that was going to provide my deliverance from this place now feels like a shipwreck on some island I can’t get off of. Maybe that’s alright though, considering the beauty of this place, it’s hard to imagine where I would go that would be better.

Who knows, maybe like Phil in the movie I am doomed to repeat this scenario until I learn some profound lesson in life. Or maybe this is the place I am destined to spend my days in, brought here by God for some purpose which has not yet been realized. Long before I moved here I had begun receiving dreams and signs that this would be the place… Perhaps it is true what is spoken in the Bible, God is the one who sets our boundaries:

Acts 17:26 And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation;

Steve Krull is a prolific sports and nature photographer selling prints and stock images online as S.W. Krull Imaging at various sites and agencies. Click this link to view all the products and services offered by Steve Krull and S. W. Krull Imaging. Additional services include, wedding photography, portraiture and model portfolios, and event photography. Additional products include fine art stock imagery, prints and gift items

Advertisements

It is Finished

This year as Christians celebrate Easter, Jews are celebrating Passover. One of my friends posted the words “It is finished.”, a phrase that reminded me that the two holidays were never meant to be celebrated separately. As Christians celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus, Jews this year are celebrating and remembering their deliverance from Egypt during the time of Moses, documented in the book of Genesis and subject of the great cinema adventure with Charlton Heston.

4,000 years ago the Hebrews were saved from the death that killed all the first born of the Egyptians by the blood of a lamb painted on their door posts. So it is for Christians today, saved from spiritual death and Hell by the “Blood of the Lamb”. In the time of Moses no one person was more worthy of salvation that night than another. If the lambs blood was on the door posts, the occupants were spared. That would have also included Egyptians with the foresight to hide inside with the Hebrews.

That Passover 4,000 years ago pointed ahead to what we celebrate now as Easter and the parallels are astonishing and the subject of many deep studies which are easily found online with a google search of the words “It is finished”. I will focus only on that one phrase, “It is finished.”, the final words spoken by Jesus in human form on this earth.

According to the New Testament, Jesus and the Apostles were clearly celebrating Passover when Jesus was killed on the Cross. Each and every event documented in scripture leading to the Cross is significant and was provided as a reminder of just exactly what was going on at the time… The long awaited Messiah was being sacrificed. For example, Kind David foresaw the day in Psalm 22 “For dogs have surrounded Me; The congregation of the wicked has enclosed Me. They pierced My hands and My feet; I can count all My bones. They look and stare at Me. They divide My garments among them, And for My clothing they cast lots.”

2,000 years after these words were written by King David they came true as Jesus hung on the Cross with nails in His feet and hands while the Romans bargained for his clothes. At the same time Jesus was hanging on the cross, a lamb was being prepared by the high priest in the Hebrew temple for the Passover sacrifice. Finally the lamb was killed and the High Priest uttered the words, “It is finished.”. At that moment on the Cross, Jesus uttered His last words, “It is finished.”, and the final sacrifice was made. The Blood of the Lamb is now available to everyone who will accept it, no one more worthy to receive it than another, no religion with any greater claim to it than another.

This Easter, I urge all who read this and pray for those who don’t to accept the gift that was given to us 2,000 years ago on the Cross. I also pray for reconciliation between the religions for the event that was meant to unite, not divide. And I pray as well for people who are victims of false religions, false messiahs and those pursuing empty aspirations that lead nowhere, to accept the gift that we celebrate on Easter Sunday and for the dedication of lives to the only cause that can provide “Living Water” that can sustain life in this lifetime and the next.

Finality

I wasn’t going to write again on Tricia’s passing, but the events of the day have again turned my thoughts to the grieving process. As I awoke this morning, before I had completely come to full consciousness, I looked over to see if I was going to be able to start moving around without awakening her. Of course I quickly realized she wasn’t there.

Part of my day’s activities involved sorting through possessions in preparation for moving out by the end of the month. At one time I came upon a box of antique quilts that she was particularly fond of and quite indignant with me for misplacing when I moved it here. Funny it was within three feet of her the entire time she was here, I just didn’t remember that I had put it there. So of course I got excited and my immediate reaction was, I can’t wait to tell her I found the quilts! And there were a couple more incidents like that where I came across or had a thought or got a call from someone and my immediate thought was, I can’t wait to tell her.

Some friends had me over for dinner this afternoon and when I returned I discovered packages delivered by UPS on the doorstep. It only took me a fraction of a second to ascertain what the packages were. A couple of weeks ago she spent at least an hour on Amazon, combing the listings for some of our favorite movies. In her wheelchair bound state, watching movies was about the only shared activity we had left that we could enjoy together, and movie time was our favorite time of day. It was with great sadness that I opened the packages to find a couple of our favorite John Candy movies, some wildlife documentaries, a season of the old TV show Rawhide that she loved, and a book she had been trying to find for a long time, the “Cancer Battle Plan”. The packages unfortunately arrived well past their projected delivery dates and ultimately, too late.

That’s when the terrible finality of what has happened really began to sink in. She wasn’t ready to die, she wanted to go on fighting, to glean every bit of life from her time of earth that she was able to experience. But there are things left undone, unseen and unheard. In this mortal life I will never again be able to tell her of the little victories like finding the quilts again. I will never see her in the morning, and we will never have movie nights again. Fortunately final in this mortal world is not final. I know her salvation is secure as we experienced it together on our knees at the altar. The bible says life is but a vapor, but I intend to live the remainder of my years on earth to the fullest and I know that time flies and I will see her again in the next life. So final isn’t that final after all.